Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Killing, Murder & Mayhem.... How do I sleep?

Ok, i really have to respond to this reader's question:

All the killing and mayhem going on in your brain, how do you sleep? You have me on tenterhooks! V.

Someone asked me this a while ago when I initially published Stone's Revenge back in 2004. Matter of fact, the reader called me in the middle of the morning and asked me the same question.

Oddly enough, I had laid the rough draft for Stone's Revenge when I was only sixteen. William was one of the first dark ominous characters I created and he still scares me to this day.

Similar questions posed to me are, were you abused as a child, did you get bullied a lot, and so on...

All the answers to those were no and how do I sleep? Good when there's not a story in my head bursting to get out or a great big migraine irritating the hell out of me.

In Xavier and William's case, both abused by parents when they were a child, I can't really explain to you how I can imagine something so terrible. Raised by my father, the only abuse was those old style barn yard whoopings and 99% were justified because of bad grades, pestering the siblings or disobedience. The one percent I personally think my siblings lied on me just to get me in trouble.

Other than that, the man (my father) was a regular dictatorship father back in the day that had the chore of raising four girls.

My mother is the epitome of support for me and my imagination. Though she left when I was ten, she still was encouraging and wonderful. Never have changed a bit and I love her to death.

So you still wonder how could a nice girl like me imagine all the gory, horrible things like this?

I remember how I imagined William. It was shortly after the Dahmer killings and the country was outrage. I don't know if anyone else knows during that time, they also caught the World's worst serial killer over in Russia as well.

PBS ran this documentary for several weeks on serial killers and the workings of them. My father was a PBS nut. I saw the whole gambit of them and inner workings of how and why.

On top of that, my mother had introduced me to a secret place most of my friends never tread ... the library. With a library card and the Edison Detroit Public Library Branch right down the street from my high school, at sixteen I was a serial killing reading fool and then I studied child abuse as well. Most of them were abused as children and they all ran the gambit of killing animals, hurting other people and finally killing where they were most familiar at before expanding and wanting more.

Some want to be caught and even know it becomes a sickness, like smoking.

Yeah, I know, I'm a great first date right.

I stop answering questions on dates when the guy will ask me, "Hey, you're a writer? What do you write?"

I'll flub out romance in a squeaky little voice because when I start really talking about what I'm writing, I never hear from them again.

Surprisingly only three men I've dated have actually read what I write.

That's really sad isn't it?

Hence, I don't really have a lot of deep relationships with guys.

You tell me how do you share the fact that I love to read about poisons and killings and stuff like that. (Did you know it's believed women invented poisons). I'm a CSI nut. Not just because of how they figured out the crime, but because the intentions and motives of the killer.

There are so many ways and motives to kill people, I'm clearly fascinated by it.

Personally, I sleep about five to six hours a day. Up from the four I used to do about two years ago. (I'm getting older). I figure by forty I'll be doing the regular eight hours with no problems unless I have a story to tell or several migraines.

I also guess that's why I stay in Detroit (Murder Capital of the USA).

All in all, I'm bad on paper to be good in life.

Sylvia Hubbard

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